Rest For Your Soul

It’s easy to talk about biblical rest, and it’s another thing to actually experience it. I’m somewhere in between right now, but God is convicting me. I recognize my soul’s desperate need for it, and I hear God’s loving call to surrender the load I’ve been carrying.

Among all of the things that are naturally stress-provoking in my life—being a mom, juggling a busy schedule, and being a minister’s wife—I have been overwhelmed to the next level lately. We’re taking our students to summer camp, I’m planning Manna’s birthday party, I’m preparing to start my first year of teaching, and a number of other things.

It all just feels like it’s too much for me to handle.

I’ve recently began a Bible study on rest, and it has been so rewarding. But today, I was not experiencing the things that I was reading about.

Manna was asleep in her car seat when we made it back home around lunchtime. So, I carefully brought her inside and put her on the couch to finish her nap. I tiptoed around and tried my best to heat up some leftover pizza without making too much noise. I decided to take this quiet opportunity to do my devotion for today, so I pulled out my book, my journal, and my Bible. I wrote out a prayer asking God to lead me in my study. I read through today’s devotion, reflected on the guided questions, read today’s scripture, and then prayed through the written prayer. I was so proud. I had made it through the end of today’s study session before Manna woke up. Woohoo!

And that’s when I stopped.

Though I had finished, I didn’t feel as refreshed as I did upon finishing days prior. I still felt stressed. I felt rushed. I was reading about slowing down and experiencing God’s rest, but what I was actually experiencing was far from what I was reading about.

So, I prayed and asked God, why? Why did I feel this way?

My intentions were pure, but my heart wasn’t truly receiving the rest that He desired for me. I was trying to get everything done. I wanted to spend intentional time with God, but I knew there was a time limit. I had to get it all in before having to return to my responsibilities and obligations. I was attempting to receive rest on-the-go, and that’s just not how it works.

What else was I to do though? I mean, I know God isn’t calling me to neglect Manna if she needs me. I have to eat lunch while I have the chance to. I’m supposed to be doing all I can to take care of my family and my home. How can I do everything I need to do AND find rest in Jesus?

God started revealing something to me….I had been trying to do more than what He was asking of me.

I know that doesn’t sound bad. If anything, it seems righteous to be an overachiever, seeking to go above and beyond what’s being asked of you! And sure, in the world that might be true. We’re often praised for overworking ourselves, putting in the hard work to reach our goals, striving for more….but what does it really benefit?

I’ve been going, going, and going some more until I just can’t go anymore. I’ve been neglecting rest because it doesn’t seem possible in my life right now. I’ve worn myself out to the point of exhaustion, to the point where I have to have some type of break before I break! And when I’m in that state, no one benefits….

When I’m in that state, I begin question if I’m really cut out for the life that I’m living. I’m too tired to give Manna the attention she needs, which makes her more clingy, making me even more exhausted. I’m irritable, which leads to more arguments with my husband. My home begins to reflect the chaos I feel within me, and it becomes this overwhelming obstacle that I just can’t overcome. I’m distant from family and friends because I’m too busy to even think about having downtime. And the list just goes on and seems to multiply by the second!

Manna is almost 1, so that means that I’ve been doing this whole parenting thing for a year now! It feels good. Looking at her, how healthy and happy she is, I feel like I’ve accomplished a good work. Though only through God’s grace, because looking back over the past year, I just think about how hard it has been! So many moments of asking, “God, why is this life so hard?” So many tears and fears that I’m not good enough. But now, I think I realize that a lot of the things that I took on weren’t meant for me to carry in this season….tasks that I decided to accomplish that God wasn’t calling me to….burdens that I picked up that were, in fact, too much for me to handle. But it all seemed so necessary!

As I was praying today, I realized some hard truths that I’ve struggled to believe and walk in. It’s hard for me to believe that God calls me to let Him carry my burdens. I should be the one to carry it all! I deserve the stress. I deserve the pressure. I deserve the struggle. I deserve the pain of it. How is it right for Him to carry it for me?

It’s like this, I feel bad for asking others to watch Manna for me because I know how hard it can be to take care of a baby. It makes me feel guilty even! So, a lot of times I won’t even ask, or if I do, I make sure it’s only for a short while.

I feel that same way about letting Jesus take my burdens. He shouldn’t have to. He’s so good and so good to me already. I don’t want to burden Him anymore than I already have. He shouldn’t have to take on my responsibilities.

He doesn’t have to, but He wants to! And the beauty of it is that He can handle all of it.

When I prioritize God’s rest for me, I’m giving Him reign to orchestrate everything in my life. He handles all the business. He takes care of the issues at hand. He makes a way for me to find refreshment and renewal. All so that I can pick up tomorrow and be all who He has called me to be.

When I finally have that intentional time of rest, uninterrupted moments with God, time set aside to write and reflect, time of worship without worry, a day of no expectations…..when I have that in my life, everything else is put into its rightful place.

When I have Sabbath rest, I then have the capacity to labor fruitfully during the rest of the week.

A day of rest is what we’re called to observe, but God has been showing me what it looks like to live a life of rest and what it means to labor in His rest.

He knows how much time there is in each day. After all, He created the day! He knows how much I can do, and He has things set aside for me to labor for each day. He has already ordained my day….all I have to do is walk in it!

So, when I look around me and begin to think to myself, “boy, there’s just not enough hours in the day,” instead of being overwhelmed and trying to push through it, I’m going to start praying, “God, what is it that I’m taking on that You haven’t asked me to?”

Then, I’ll intentionally enter back into His rest, and let Him handle the rest….

“Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the Lord guards the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, To retire late, To eat the bread of painful labors; For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep. Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed When they speak with their enemies in the gate.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭127‬:‭1‬-‭5‬ ‭

““Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.””

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11‬:‭28‬-‭30‬ ‭

“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven— A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance. A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing. A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; A time to be silent and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate; A time for war and a time for peace. What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils? I have seen the task which God has given the sons of men with which to occupy themselves. He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end. I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime; moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor—it is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him. That which is has been already and that which will be has already been, for God seeks what has passed by.”

Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3‬:‭1‬-‭15‬ ‭